|
Post by Jules on Aug 13, 2008 23:47:51 GMT -5
She couldn't let him get away with it. Not like this. He wanted to dump her, fine. He was going to explain why he'd lied to her so blatantly. Just to get her into bed? That was the problem. Zizzy couldn't come up with any real reasoning behind what had happened the other day. Perhaps it was wishful thinking on her part, but it was strange that Armand had done such a complete 180.
She'd thought she'd known him better then that. She did. Zizzy wasn't going to let it end like this. Not with some of her questions answered.
Like always, she floated up and through his window, although this time there was no hum of excitement to see him. Just an ever present ugly anger and the empty, hollow feeling of her chest. She'd assumed that was how being heart-broken felt.
He was at his piano, playing out some beautiful tune, but it didn't soften her like it once had. She approached him calmly, tapped his shoulder and crossed her arms.
"You owe me an explanation for Thursday." She said angrily. "I'll comply to your wanting a break, but I want a better reason then what you gave me."
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 13, 2008 23:56:10 GMT -5
The keys under his hands depressed gently, the chords wavering in the air, quiet, barely reaching beyond his own ears. But he didn't even hear them.
It was difficult to hear beyond one's own thoughts when demons were howling to be released.
Armand's hands clenched into fists, so tightly he could see the knotting of the veins across the tops of his knuckles. It was so frustrating. No, she was so frustrating.
Turning back to the keys, he depressed them gently once more, just barely playing the mournful opening strains of Mozart’s Lacrimosa. Someone tapped his shoulder and the song came to an ugly halt. He turned, visibly shocked at Zizzy's unexpected presence.
He stared at her, baffled, for several seconds before a half-strangled, "Me?" escaped him. He checked himself, tried to curb the growing ache in his chest. He stood to his feet, abruptly angry. "How dare you," he snapped. What was it... fun for her now, toying with him like this? "I begged you for an explanation and you want mine? Get out."
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 0:00:42 GMT -5
What was he talking about? Zizzy ignored completely him telling her to get out. "How dare I?" Was he serious? "You did no such thing! You, you, you...screwed me over. You promised! You said you loved me. You said I could be a part of your family. And then you just take it all away. Why?"
In response to his anger, lightning scampered across her skin violently, some of the longer ones reaching out as if to caress him, but not ever completely crossing the distance between her skin and his. There were tears her in eyes, but she couldn't stand them. She wiped them away furiously. She'd spent too long crying over him already.
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 14, 2008 0:14:33 GMT -5
"I do love you," he said, trembling now. His throat felt thick. Damn. She was probably only crying for show, and it would hardly benefit him if he started up. "You..." He laughed, or rather sobbed, at the memory, "You... spat on the idea of becoming part of my family--- you made a mockery of my... my sister, my mother, and I, I actually offered to give them all up for you. You..." His voice broke off in a hiss.
He drew back his shoulders, his eyes as hard as blue flint. He still had some pride, precious little of it. He'd done enough groveling, and the least she could do was let him suffer with her decision in peace. "Leave," he said icily. "You cannot possibly have anything left to take from me. I am begging you, if any of it meant anything, leave me alone."
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 0:25:48 GMT -5
Now she was confused as well as furious. "I loved your family! I was so excited at a chance to be part of it. You're the one who told me they didn't want me. That they thought I was too low class." She bite back a sob. "You're the one who said it had just been for fun. After everything.
"When you came to my apartment the other day, Armand, you used me. I couldn't believe it. I didn't think you were capable of it. But you don't want me, fine! You don't want me in your family, FINE! But don't try to pin it on me. What we had meant everything to me, Armand. You're the one who ended it."
She turned to leave, because she couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't gotten her explanation. Or questions answered. Instead she was more thoroughly confused then ever. But she didn't want to stay here and watch him look at her like that.
"Armand I'm sorry if I ever led you to somehow believe I didn't like your family. I--I was looking forward to being a part of it all." She sighed and halted. She knew she was stalling, waiting for some kind of miracle. For some kind of break through. For him to tell her it had all been an awful mistake, that things weren't really ending this way.
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 14, 2008 0:30:38 GMT -5
The silence rang in his ears; his throat felt like it was between his eyes, pounding.
His confusion, and along with it, his pain, grew more each passing minute. But one thing... Something that could not be misconstrued in any possible way... She could be lying about everything else, but she had no reason to lie about that.
"You came here," he said, as if to remind her. He didn't let himself hope, waiting for her to realize her blunder and correct herself. "I never came to your apartment."
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 0:33:53 GMT -5
Zizzy stared at him. What? What did that have to do with anything? Why...."No. You came to my apartment. You knocked on the door. You were nice at first." She felt sick to think that had just been him getting his thrills from her, like she was some cheap piece of shit. "I haven't been here since the party." She reminded him gently, as though he might be going senile.
It was weird to think of him as so confused that he couldn't remember where the fight had taken place.
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 14, 2008 0:41:16 GMT -5
Something cold gripped his stomach.
"No," he told her. He took a step back, distancing himself from... what? He didn't know. "I have been haunted by what happened for the past four days, I know you were here. Clearly," he waved a hand at the tense atmosphere between them, "I didn't imagine this."
His face became suddenly cold (colder). "Perhaps it was insignificant enough to you that details have become hazy."
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 0:45:15 GMT -5
"As have I. Armand, today was the only day I was able to get up off my floor. You came to my apartment. I remember it perfectly. I remember every single word exchange. That day was....unbearable. How can you say it was insignificant? Just because I mean so little to you doesn't mean I feel the same way."
Zizzy couldn't understand why he was pressing this. What difference did it make, really, where it had happened? Why would he insist it had happened here when she knew, and he knew, it had not.
"You know I can't lie." She tried, facing him so he could see her cheeks her natural pale hue. "I. Didn't. Come. Here."
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 14, 2008 0:49:56 GMT -5
All signs would indicate that she didn't come here. She seemed as furious, as upset, over the issue as he did, but...
"You did," he whispered. "Here. My room. You wouldn't touch me, you wouldn't let me touch you, and then...."
And then his blackest version of hell erupted.
He groaned. "You have the audacity to tell me it meant little to me? Don't try and manipulate my feelings to match your own to ease your conscience."
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 0:55:58 GMT -5
"Armand, I honestly have no clue what you're talking about. You came to my apartment, you told me that your family didn't want me. That you didn't want me. That I wasn't 'Prince Material'. You said you wanted a break, that it had been fun, but nothing more. And you left, telling me no one would stand with me. That I would be alone. I fell to the floor after you left. I stayed there for three days. I cried myself sore. That's what happened Thursday. I haven't been here since the party, I never said anything against your family, and I certainly didn't reject your touch."
She stood there, no longer able to stop the tears streaming down her face. She wanted to curl up, disappear, stop existing. When she realized she could. It would be easy. Just spend a few seconds too long as a cloud and she'd evaporate into the air. Her self would be scattered in the sky, rained down, evaporated, and she'd become mindless rain. It was almost a pleasing thought. Anything to end this ache in her chest.
"Please, please don't tell me otherwise. I'm not crazy."
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 14, 2008 1:01:55 GMT -5
Her tears spurred action in him at last. He stepped forward, wiping her cheeks with his fingers, his thumbs brushing the corners of her eyes. "You must be," he murmured, wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms. "I would never...."
He stiffened, drawing back as he remembered himself. He would never, but she would. She did.
"You aren't making any sense," he pleaded, a desperate edge to his voice. "Please..... please stop torturing me. I can't take it."
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 1:06:39 GMT -5
A violent relief flooding her as he touched her, and she began to glow, but it died with and abrupt halt seconds later as he pulled himself away and continued to make no sense. She reached out to him, as if to call him back, but dropped her arms a second later. It was hopeless.
"I'm not making any sense? Armand, I don't understand why you think it happened here. I don't know why you think I have anything but respect and hope concerning your family. I don't know why..." She was forced to stop as a sob hacked it's way through her. "I'll prove it! You told me, the inscription on your tattoo. More then my own life, right? You told me that after we....you know."
He couldn't deny that. There was no other explanation for her knowing.
|
|
|
Post by Miss Jack on Aug 14, 2008 1:13:08 GMT -5
His breathing grew ragged beneath the rush of emotions hitting him. It worse than he thought, to know that she couldn't remember everything she'd said. His family was just the kick-off. He would have reminded her, except her last words made everything, inside him and out, freeze.
His eyes widened. "I... yes." That was what the inscriptions said. "But, I never told you. You've never asked, and we couldn't have done... that. You wouldn't let me touch you. I disgust you, remember? I was arrogant to actually believe I was your first? Any of this coming back?"
|
|
|
Post by Jules on Aug 14, 2008 1:19:40 GMT -5
"You don't disgust me! You were my first, I don't know what you're talking about. None of this is coming back because it never happened! How else would I know what it said, Armand? I'm not lying. We did 'that', and then you preceded to tell me it was over. That I wasn't good enough for you."
Zizzy was so thoroughly confused, so at a loss for what was going on, she was forgetting to be really angry at him. Instead, she was simply trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Why he seemed to have a completely different version of the fight.
"I don't know who came here on Thursday, Armand, but it wasn't me." She didn't know, couldn't know, how close she was touching to the truth.
|
|