Dear Marguerite

[Marguerite]

Look, I appreciate the fact that you skipped rewriting your French paper to write me one lucky day.

However, free bagels for a year?

Seriously, you think that's going to make up for all the crap you put me through? And are putting me through? And are going to put me through?

Rot in hell.

-Gavin

The management would like to point out that, at this level of meta and fourth-wall-breakage, Gavin should know he was created to be funny and part of his humor is to never catch a break and be more-or-less constantly humiliated.

That's a lousy reason.

The management would like to point out that, as Gavin should be aware he is a fictional character, insulting the decision-making capabilities of his creator will not end well for him.

Crap. I really can't catch a break. It's physically impossible.

The management would like to thank Sir Gwalchgwyn the Greene Knighte, Maedenie’s Knighte, and Defeandere of Wertue for this belated realization.

Yeah. Sure.

_{I still hope you rot in hell.}