A Farewell Apology

[Miss Jack]

For the third time in the last two weeks, he stood in front of Iseabail's door. He waited a moment to knock, steeling himself. Leaving Zizzy like he had the other day had left a sort of hollow part in him, and he hoped it wouldn't be nearly so painful with Iseabail.

They weren't high hopes.

He sighed, and knocked.

[Maestro]

As was usual at this time of day, Iseabail had been going over her lines, character work, etc, and trying very hard to concentrate on such things. She was normally one of the first cast members to have everything memorized but lately, she'd been doing ... much worse than her usual.

People usually left her alone during this time, but she was glad for the distraction. Who could it be? she wondered, standing up. Maybe it was Julien, but she doubted it; he was probably with October.

She opened the door, not expecting to see Armand on the other side. Her eyes lit up, though she managed to just smile a little bit.

"Armand," she murmured, opening the door should he decide that he wanted to talk.

[Miss Jack]

"Hi," he said, managing a smile, but it was feeble. He glanced uncomfortably to the ground and then looked at her again.

"I came to apologize. I didn't want you to think that... what happened was a mistake. Or, it wasn't to me, anyway. Or that I was disgusted or ashamed. That's not why I left." He gave a harsh laugh, anxious. "I wanted to just send a letter, but I figured I owed it to you to apologize to your face."

[Maestro]

"Hi," she murmured back, just watching him. What was going on? Was something wrong? Hold it, Iseabail; don't get ahead of yerself. Let the man speak.

"Ye came to apologize?" she repeated, somewhat surprised. "Och, Armand, ye dinna need to apologize," she started, taking a step toward him. "It wasna a mistake," she told him, glad that he had not thought it was.

She did want to know why he had run out so suddenly, though. "Why did ye leave?" she asked quietly. "Ye dinna have to answer if ye dinna want to, but, why did ye leave?" Smiling slightly, she added, "And thank ye for coming to talk to me, instead of sending a letter." She reached forward, barely brushing his cheek with the tips of her fingers. "Ye dinna owe me anything," she whispered.

[Miss Jack]

He had planned on apologizing, letting her know it wasn't her fault by a long shot, and then quickly taking his leave. Sorry-- won't happen again, style. But her sweet acceptance was proving hard to spurn.

His eyes almost sank closed at the brush of her hands, and a familiar attraction pierced through him.

"I was just.... surprised, at myself," he said, in way of explanation, "for feeling like that.... toward you. It was unexpected."

[Maestro]

She smiled a bit, glad that he hadn't chosen to never speak to her again, instead. This was much better than anything she could have hoped for. Still, she should be careful; she didn't want to scare him off again.

"Aye, weel," she started softly, slight smile on her lips, "It often is unexpected." The way he had said that, though, might have given her pause. In this case, it was just an explanation, nothing more, nothing less; he did not mean any offense by it.

"I'm just glad that ye werena angry with me," she told him, taking a slight risk and actually placing her hand on his cheek for a moment before letting her arm drop.

[Miss Jack]

He bit his tongue inside his mouth, resisting the urge to catch her hand as it dropped. Self-control. Forward, not backward.

"Of course I wasn't," he said quietly. Now what? The kiss was lovely? You're lovely? All seemed too trite.

"Thank you," he practically whispered. They were close enough he didn't have to take a step to bend forward and kiss her lightly on the cheek. "I have to go." Hands in his pockets, he turned down the hallway, grateful when he rounded the corner.

[Maestro]

She turned her head towards his as he kissed her, almost making it another accidental brush of the lips. Startled when he said that he had to go, she just stared for a moment, trying to register what had just happened.

He had left her last time without any sort of explanation; this time, she followed him.

"Armand, wait," she called, skirts rustling as she made her way after him. "Are ye all right?" she asked softly, more concerned for him than herself and an explanation.

[Miss Jack]

Stunned to hear her voice again, that soon anyway, he turned, a baffled expression on his face. He frowned. He'd expected her to watch him leave, and possibly rehash all his shortcomings, including the confusing and abrupt exit, like Zizzy.... He inwardly flinched, remembering.

But she hadn't.

Just give me a minute, he thought dryly, and you'll hate me too.

Ignoring the question directed at him, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Iseabail." He took her shoulders in his hands. "You're exquisite. You're beautiful, a treasure, and I feel for you probably more than I should." He looked sad. "But my heart is in two, and you deserve someone who will be devoted to you, fully and completely, all the time. And that's not me."

[Maestro]

What was going on? Armand looked surprised that she had followed him. Well, that wasn't unexpected, but that much confusion? And he wasn't answering her question, she noticed. That was before he took her shoulders.

Looking up into his eyes, she just smiled. "Thank ye," she murmured, blushing slightly. "And I already knew," she told him, remembering what she'd figured out earlier. "It's all right, Armand," she practically whispered, not quite sure what she was saying was 'all right.' She deserved someone better than Armand?

"Armand," she started again, placing a hand on one of his, "I dinna even derserve ye," she said quietly. He was a prince of the realm and what was she? Just an Opera singer.

[Miss Jack]

He stared at her, briefly confused, and then he frowned. Not glaring, but not amused either.

"No," he said, in blatant defiance to her words. "Wait, you know?" What's the matter with you? Why are you being so nice?

[Maestro]

She smiled slightly, hoping that she wouldn't make things worse than they already were. "Armand, I'm just an Opera singer," she said quietly. "How in the saoghal," she started, then realized she was speaking Gaelic. "Sorry," she murmured, getting her thoughts back on track. "How in the world could I ever expect to deserve ye? I'm flattered that ye think ye would never deserve me," she trailed off, not really knowing what else to say to that.

With a nod, she murmured, "Aye." When had she figured it out? She had started to suspect when she had seen Zizzy and Armand at the Masquerade; she just hadn't wanted to admit it to herself.

Taking one of his hands in her own, she told him, her voice very quiet, "I started to suspect at the Masquerade, but I think that the other day, when ye ran ou', that was when I knew," she finished, almost trailing off.

[Miss Jack]

Armand swallowed his frustration. He wouldn't leave until she fully understood. And right now, she was miles from the truth.

"I didn't run out because of that, I told you. Being a prince, or being an opera singer, has nothing to do with it. A homeless person would be better for you than me, as long as he loved you with all of his heart. Are you listening? I feel like I'm repeating myself."

[Maestro]

"Aye, I'm listening," she murmured. Wait a minute? A homeless person would be better as long as he lov-- was he saying that he loved her? She didn't know whether or not she could ask that; she couldn't bear to hear the answer. Or could she? Well, only one way to find out.

Taking a deep breath, she asked, very simply, "Then what are ye saying? I just want to make sure," this time, she did trail off. What was she really asking? No, she knew what she was asking; she just couldn't articulate it.

[Miss Jack]

"I'm saying," he said softly, "that I do have feelings for you. But I have feelings for Zizzy too. And that's not fair to either of you."