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Post by Jules on Sept 7, 2008 21:25:45 GMT -5
Camilla's coming by had actually been bitter sweet for Mary. She'd been expecting it happen any day now, but she'd come to a decision. Besides wheeling herself around and becoming more and more active despite her paralyzing, Mary had been trying to crush the stupid way her emotions had decided to go. Usually, they didn't get in her way, usually, she was able to force them back, but this time was different.
Everything had to change.
Her fight with herself had ended in the decision to leave the Circus. She moved around her tent, packing what she wanted to bring, trying incredibly hard not to cry. There had been enough of that lately and she was all too fed up with herself. It disgusted her that she was going to let being in love to ruin the best thing she had. But the truth was it hurt too much. Despite the fact she'd like to deny it, say she was tough enough, it was too hard. Being around Vince, knowing that he would never ever return the ridiculous feeling (how could he?) was too much.
Besides, she'd never move on staying here. She'd just pine and be stupid and God she was so, so stupid. How could she have let this happppennn? Groaning, Mary threw in the last of her clothing into the large duffel and slung it over her shoulder.
This was the part she was least looking forward too. The walk to the Main Tent seemed ten years long and all too short. Her legs still wobbled and teetered a little, like a newborn fawn, but she remained steady. Dropping her bag on the ground as she reached the front flap she gripped the fabric for support and called out.
"Vinnnce?"
What was she really worried about? It wasn't like he was going to try and stop her. It probably didn't make much of a difference to him either way.
She was so, so stupid.
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Post by Miss Jack on Sept 7, 2008 21:47:45 GMT -5
Vince emerged rather quickly, he'd been about to seek her out himself, and when he saw her, the closest thing his face could accomplish to a smile spread over his lips. "You're walking," he said softly, and then his eyes dropped to her bag. He studied it, and her, going back and forth between the two for a few seconds. And leaving? His eyes narrowed. "Where are you going?"
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Post by Jules on Sept 7, 2008 22:06:40 GMT -5
Mary had never remembered going softer at the hint of his kind-of smile. But she'd only been in love once before and she could vaguely remember what a big idiot she'd been then too. "I am." She smiled back, vaguely wondering if her smile ever affected him and knowing it didn't (so, so stupid).
"And I'm...well, I'm moving out. I've got a small cabin at the side of Forest that I found, still can't go by living in a city. I just thought I'd come and say bye. I know you're not much for these kinds of things and it's not like you'll miss me, your Vince, you don't miss oxygen when you hold your breath." She smiled, trying to reign in her babbling (ineffectively). "But I'll miss you and I just wanted to say goodbye because I love this circus and I love--" Whoooooa, close one there. Sometimes she really hated how little control she had of her tongue.
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Post by Miss Jack on Sept 7, 2008 22:26:07 GMT -5
Moving out? His eyes tightened, narrowing even more, not understanding at first, and then at last, sometime during the midst of her winded explanation, the reality fully hit him.
She'd miss him? What the hell! Then why was she leaving? He was the only bad thing about this place, wasn't he? And she'd tolerated him this long, why go now?
"Why?" he asked, borderline outraged.
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Post by Jules on Sept 7, 2008 22:35:06 GMT -5
Mary froze, she had to stop underestimating him, planning out what he was going to say before he said it. She'd not been expecting him to question her at all. "I----uhh. I can't stay here anymore. Trust me, you wouldn't understand."
The anger she could see plainly writ across his face surprised her, and hurt her. She'd come to accept that he did care about her, a good deal more than she'd thought. But not enough. It wasn't enough anymore. She frowned a moment and kicked her bag. This was all so frustrating, why was she so stupid.
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Post by Miss Jack on Sept 7, 2008 23:02:07 GMT -5
His mind raced, searching for some kind of explanation, or even a possible sign she'd given for this unexpected behavior, but he came up short.
"I think you'd better attempt to make me understand," he said slowly, and colder than he intended. Vaguely, a part of him realized he was on the verge of throwing a selfish tantrum, because she was leaving him all alone, but that part wasn't immediately obvious to him at the moment.
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Post by Jules on Sept 7, 2008 23:12:07 GMT -5
Mary's eyes hardened as he grew cold, like he always did. "This right here." She said with a bit of an edge to her voice. "This right here Vince. I can't stay because I..." Oh what did it matter? If he knew he'd likely be so shocked she could get away without this painful tearing. She'd only see him at work from now on, and then only once in a while. The family would feel awkward, they never had Henriette over when Johnny and her were having an off period.
"Because I love you, and you won't ever love me back and I just can't stand it. I know it's stupid, I know it's ridiculous, I mean, you're you. Vince, the big bad wolf. But I do, and I can't help it and I can't stay here knowing nothing will ever change and hoping it will. Blame it on me being a girl, I guess. I'm not a romantic, I'm leaving so I can get over you, because loving you isn't worth it. You care for me, I know. And I love you for it. But, I'm sorry Vince, I know it's stupid, but it just isn't enough anymore. I will miss you."
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Post by Miss Jack on Sept 7, 2008 23:38:26 GMT -5
As she said, This right here, he sighed in exasperation, prepared to launch into an explanation of how he'd back off if he'd gotten so bad, he'd try to....
She what?
He froze, paralyzed (with what? fear?), feeling like his muscles had atrophied all over again. She loved him? He, of the cold, closed heart? Why would she waste such an emotion on him, when she could easily go elsewhere and find a warmer, gentler.... lover. Even the concept, whispered in his head, was hard to swallow. The sad look in her eyes as she watched him was what finally snapped him back to himself.
That she thought loving him wasn't worth it stung a lot more than he cared to admit. He inhaled slowly. He wanted to escape her gaze, but he couldn't look away. What could he say, that he'd miss her too? How trite. This would change everything. And the real question... did he love her?
The answer was easy. He couldn't love her. He knew himself enough to know he wasn't capable of love, not like this. It would kill him to let her leave, but he realized, painfully, that she was right. This was how Vince Delano lived—pragmatically, logically, with no room for sentiment or regret. He could forget capricious emotions. He had the strength and the will to go through with it, and to endure his pain alone . . . as he always had.
One thing he knew; she'd get over him a lot sooner than he'd ever get over her.
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Post by Jules on Sept 7, 2008 23:57:23 GMT -5
There was no one in that moment she hated more than herself. She realized that up until this point she had been harboring some hope that things would turn around, that she'd get some kind of fairy tale ending. But she was just a rat and he was incapable of loving anyone. Mary cleared her throat and smiled at him bitterly through the tears in her eyes.
She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, trying not to look too defeated and failing horribly.
"I didn't think so. We're not the kind for a happy ending are we?" She let out a small, desperate little chuckle and shook her head. "See you around, Chief." She gave a somewhat mocking half-salute and walked away, squeezing her eyes shut.
She hated that every step she took was slower then it could be, hoping against everything she knew about him that he'd call her back.
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Post by Miss Jack on Sept 8, 2008 0:32:36 GMT -5
Not the type ---the hard truth cut like dull knife--- but he wanted it anyway. Wanted the stupid, corny happy ending for once. Wanted it, but watched her leave him without a word, because it wasn't possible.
-------------- An hour or so later....
What was that?
I don't know, but I'm going over there.
I'm already on my way, does---
Zounds, man... They felt more than heard Johnny's surprised gasp. The werewolf allowed his other companions to see what he saw through their temporarily linked minds. Vince stood surrounded by the wreckage of what had once been several carnival rides and booths. He didn't move, simply stood their, his face a cloak of darkness hidden by his hair.
Jack and Simon picked up their pace. They staggered onto the scene shortly after Johnny, both panting for breath. "What the hell's going on?" Jack said, surveying the damage. The mummy met Jack's eyes, his expression dark and ironic. Jack almost expected him to utter some cutting remark, but he said nothing.
Growing frustrated, Jack said, "Where's Mary?"
At the cold gleam that cut through Vince's still stoic eyes, Jack became worried. And angry at Vince's continued silence. "Damnit, Vince," he said, patience shot. "What happened?"
“Relax Jack,” Simon said brusquely. "First things first. Let's find Mary. Vince will talk when the time is right.”
“Fantastic advice,” Jack snarled, wheeling to glare at Simon’s characteristically impassive expression. “We’re sitting in headquarters, trying to have a decent meal, when you suddenly go blue, wailing and sobbing. A minute or two later, in addition to a splitting headache, I experience a really pleasant sensation. One of my personal favorites. You know, a little like the feeling you’d get if some bastard slammed a two-ton sledgehammer into your head.
“But no—wait—it’s Vince going psycho! So we sprint to the circus, and naturally it looks like a nuclear wasteland. Nothing out of the ordinary there, right? Oh no. And you know what the really funny part is? Mary is missing, and Vince, of course, decides to get his kicks by standing here and smirking at me. I’d say everything’s just dandy, wouldn’t you?”
Johnny looked taken aback, muddled. "That was strong..." he muttered.
"That was entirely uncalled for," Simon snapped, eyes and hair flashing red. "And Vince--- silent may be golden, but I think you're taking the principle a step too far. Unless you tell us what happened, we'll be in no position to help you."
"She left."
Jack and Johnny, even Simon, startled. They hadn’t expected him to say anything in the first place, but it was all the more shocking because of the sound of his voice: low, even, impassive—perfectly normal. There may have been one difference: a certain emptiness, a hint of anger.
"Who---?" Johnny began, but Simon reached out a hand to stop him. The ghost exchanged a look with Jack, who appeared guilty for his eariler outburst. Now what?
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