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Post by Jules on Oct 2, 2008 23:07:22 GMT -5
He looked away from her and shook his head. "Not for you. It shouldn't be this hard when we're barely even a couple yet." He struggled with his words, especially since he didn't really want to say them.
"How will I ever know if I can love you, if you're the only girl I can kiss, hmmm?"
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Post by Miss Jack on Oct 2, 2008 23:22:39 GMT -5
"I don't understand," she said. She was angry, but also sincere in her confusion. "You don't think you can love me, unless you're.... experienced, or if you don't have the opportunity to cheat on me?" She barely maintained her even tone.
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Post by Jules on Oct 2, 2008 23:30:55 GMT -5
"No!" She was misunderstanding, like always. Grrrr. "Of course you don't understand, you never do. I can't love you at all. Touch you, kiss you, hold you unless I'm feeling some kind of intense emotion. Right now I feel nothing towards you, only wanting to feel something." He looked at her, took her hand his, smoothing his thumb over her glove.
"And I don't know if I can love you because what if I just cling to you because you're the only girl it's even possible with?"
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Post by Miss Jack on Oct 2, 2008 23:44:52 GMT -5
She pressed her lips together, willing her temper down to more manageable levels. Had this been any other guy, she would have already stormed off, flinging several devastating insults in her wake. But this was David, and she wanted, almost desperately, to try and understand.
Only ridding herself of anger left another emotion in its place, and now her lip quivered unsteadily. "But.... but isn't it possible you might have liked me anyway? I mean, supposing you could like any girl, and none of this was in the way, we might have still been best for each other."
This wasn't like her. If Marie was here, she'd be telling her to grow a backbone and dump the slime, because hadn't he just answered her questions? He could never love her, it was only what she was, the powerful attraction she held for males, that even made it possible.
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Post by Jules on Oct 2, 2008 23:52:29 GMT -5
David clenched his fists against the pain in her voice that made everything in him want to reach out and comfort her. But the horrible truth---he knew it was horrible---was that he didn't know. And he didn't know if he could ever be sure, and she deserved more than that. So, so much more.
"I want to say yes." He replied, tone anguished. "So badly. But I can't and remain honest. I want to know for sure, and I can't and you deserve more then that."
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Post by Miss Jack on Oct 3, 2008 0:05:41 GMT -5
She nodded, looking away and pulling her hand out of his. She stood to her feet, still with her face turned away.
This hurt a lot more than she had ever expected outright rejection to hurt. It felt like a hole in her lung and she pressed a hand to her corseted side, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe.
"I should leave," she said, proud of her dignified tone. "Thank you for the picnic."
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Post by Jules on Oct 3, 2008 0:17:40 GMT -5
David wanted to scream, to beg for her to stay, to throw himself at her feet. Instead he sat there, stock still and nodded. "I wish you wouldn't." It was polite, but he meant every word with a desperation that scared him.
He wanted to figure this out, make her stay, make himself sure. But he couldn't do that just yet. But he would find a way. "You're very welcome." He replied stiffly.
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Post by Miss Jack on Oct 3, 2008 0:23:42 GMT -5
The stiff formality hurt worse than anything, and instead of the dignified, "Goodbye, David," she planned, she bit her lip against a rising sob and fled from their cozy retreat, gathering her skirts to accomodate her brisk, almost frantic pace.
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